At the Official Outpost of Void, three Voidian Officials were sequestered at the back of the main room on the ground floor, not doing paperwork, but deep in conversation. The only male was feeling quite awkward.

“Um, yes… I suppose you can talk to me for a bit. What is this about?” Alcor said nervously. He was sweating, and his blond hair shook heroically as he nodded at the girls – girls who made him very nervous. Situla, the more perceptive of the two, grinned.

“Just a little chat, Alcor. Surely a heroic, brave Head of Officials has time for his two pretty subordinates?” she drawled.

“I suppose. Wish Denneb was here.” muttered Alcor.

“I’m Alcooooooor!” announced Caroli, doing an impression of Alcor’s typically masculine personality. “I’m so heroic, my testosterone literally emanates in an aura around me! Women swoon whenever I walk by! My sword has never been defeated! I’m literally a god in Voidian form! Ignore all of the above when I’m talking to girls because then I wilt faster than an erection at a funeral!”

“Alright, alright!” grumbled Alcor. “What did you want to discuss?”

“Well, as we all know by now, the hole in the Reaches is getting bigger.” Situla said, getting more serious now. “Whilst we were told not to worry about it, I believe Denneb has been researching a solution?”

“Yes. So why aren’t you collaring him?” Alcor said.

“Because he’s not come in today yet. But I saw you two chatting yesterday, and I was wondering if he’d told you a solution that he’s found.” replied Situla.

“I’m afraid not.” Alcor replied. “Yes, I spoke to Denneb, but he said he’s found a few things and nothing concrete yet.”

“Well, well.” Caroli said.

“Indeed.” Situla replied.

Alcor sighed. “Are you done? I have crimes to be foiling!”

“Don’t be silly, Alcor. You’re not on duty for another hour at least. Besides, you’ve not had a coffee today yet.” Situla replied. “Caroli, can you get some for us, actually?”

“Sure.” Caroli replied, then she began to do an impression of Situla. “Oh em gee, if Caroli goes to get coffee for Alcor then maybe their eyes will meet across the room as she returns, and she’ll hand him the coffee whilst whispering “here you go” in a sultry manner; then they’ll date and fall in love and it’ll be SO FUCKING PERFECT.”

“I do not ship out loud!” exclaimed Situla. “…But Alcaroli is such a good ship, come on.”

Caroli was already walking away. Alcor looked at Situla. “…Uh…”

“Sorry.” she said with a grin. “I mean nothing by it; I’m just so excited to see us all go into relationships.”

“I don’t need a relationship! I’m a strong independent hero who refuses to be tied down!” Alcor announced heroically.

“…I see.” Situla said with her characteristic insight. “…So, Denneb?”

“Shh!” hissed Alcor. “No. Well, yes. But don’t say a word to anyone. Especially not to Denneb.”

Caroli returned from across the room, where the coffee machine was located, carrying three coffees in her hands. She put them down gingerly and breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll go fetch some sugar and milk.”

Alcor, who took his coffee black, began to drink. “Ahh. This, this is a truly excellent coffee!”

“It’s instant coffee, Al. Barely worth mentioning.” Situla said. She got a message on her wrist phone and decided to check it.

 Ra Um, hello

Hi! What d’ya want? Si 

 Ra I’ve been in, well, a creative slump recently

 Ra Can’t think of any ships to write about

Ah, you want advice from the mistress herself? Si 

I’m always happy to help a friend in need! Si 

 Ra Hey, no, we’re not friends

 Ra Just acquaintances with a mutual interest in relationships of fictional or real people

Suuure x Si 

 Ra So any advice?

Alcor sighed as he realised she was going to ignore him for the next few minutes, and he opted to check his own messages. Caroli returned with sugar and milk, and she and Situla began to stir it into their drinks.

HEY!! Al 

 Sa Hey homeslice, what’s up?

Oh, not much man Al 

 Sa Whatever you say, brah

 Sa Why the msg then?

Needed someone to chat to! How are you doing? Al 

 Sa Hella slammin as it happens, went to Faf’s gig last night

Ah! I did too, actually! She was MOST ENTERTAINING! Al 

 Sa That’s Faf for ya

Caroli watched the pair of them on their wrist phones and sighed. “I’m gonna go do some paperwork. Let me know when you two become relevant and interesting again.”

“Mhm.” Situla murmured as she typed. “See ya.”

Chuckling, Caroli walked away with her coffee in hand.

Well, if you want, I could share with you some of the stuff I’ve written recently? x Si 

That could aid your slump x Si 

 Ra That’d be nice

Here it is – not even the fluffiest stuff I’ve written, not by a long shot 😉 Si 

fafmiz.txt Si 

 Ra Oh gosh, this is…

 Ra Mind if I peruse this at my leisure?

Of course! You enjoy yourself, babe, and I hope it inspires ya x Si 

 Ra …Thanks…

---

Tell the lovely lady that she did absolutely excellently! Al 

 Sa I’ll give the chica the good words, brah

 Sa Uh, hey

 Sa Whilst I have you, can I talk to you for a moment?

ANYTIME! What is it that ails you, friend? Al 

 Sa Had a bit of a go at Mizar at the theatre, and I lost my cool

 Sa I just… should I tell him how Fafnir feels about him?

Absolutely not. Al 

You see, whilst this sounds like a noble and valiant thing to do, it will only cause problems! Fafnir must be the one to admit it! Al 

 Sa I guess you’re right

 Sa Thanks

No problemo! Al 

 Sa Anyway, I’d better get going, see you later

HAVE FUN! Talk soon, pal! Al 

With their friends satisfied, Alcor and Situla glanced awkwardly at one another.

“Well, I guess we should finish up our paperwork too…” Situla said. Alcor nodded.

“One can’t fight crime until all paperwork has been filed, after all!”

“Well said.” Situla replied with a grin. The pair got up, finishing off their coffees, and walked over to their work stations, filled with verve for the day ahead.