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Sunderland College [4.A – The Fabrication, 5th June, 1995]

THE_FABRICATION

fashion newspaper of the year – 85p – 5th June 1995

 

OSIRIS’ TUNIC SHOWS AT CAIRO AUCTION, SOLD FOR 94 MILLION

LAST week, the legendary Osiris’ Tunic was discovered in Egypt by an explorer who plumbed the depths of the country’s most dangerous pyramid. Today, it appeared at the Cairo Magnates’ Auction, attended as always by a number of the world’s richest. It was only one of many items sold, but it was evident that most were there just for Osiris’ Tunic. Reports indicate that a woman arrived shortly before the beginning of the auction, accompanied by a young girl, and remained silent, buying nothing until the Tunic was offered. She stood out due to her choice of clothing, wearing only a negligee and a dressing gown, only loosely fastened.

The woman’s assistant kept a careful eye on proceedings, and the woman eventually gained Osiris’ Tunic, buying it for an exorbitant 94 million pounds. The woman refused to be interviewed, though it was later discovered that she was Charlotte Seville, current Chief Executive Officer of Seville Manufacturing, the manufacturing company most known for becoming a subsidiary of Lindsey Stunne’s modelling agency. Seville, 23, ascended the position of CEO following the death of her father in 1993.

It is currently assumed that Seville is a collector, as even hardened clothing magnates said that 94 million pounds was far too much, even for a legendary piece of Battle Clothing. When asked what she would do with it, Seville refused to comment, as did her assistant.

 

NECRO IS DEFEATED, NEW TOP BOMBARDIER HAS BEEN CHOSEN

Necro, otherwise known as Roy Preston, has stepped down from his position as Top Bombardier at the urging of the Bombardier Association. Jason Macklemore, 24, has succeeded him as Top Bombardier due to his performance defeating Sevas just a few weeks ago, and his excellent public relations.

Known for his raw strength coupled with the Nightmare Gown and Full Cover, Preston has been Top Bombardier since 1992, succeeding the late Fire and Ice. Macklemore wears the Drill Palm and Grapple Shirt, and has a more quick and free-flowing fighting style; Necro makes up for his lack of speed with the Nightmare Gown’s teleportation.

Preston, 26, said “I’m happy about this. Macklemore’s proved himself time and time again, and I think he really deserves the position of Top Bombardier. The only question now is whether he can keep it!”

We reached out to Macklemore, but he declined an interview.

Sunderland College [4.6 - The Regrettable Pursuit of Power]
Sunderland College [4.7 - Cursed Findings]

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